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Dating Etiquette

How much easier would life be if dating came with a rule book?

Sadly it doesn’t, but surely there’s a generalised set of rules we can all go off … right?

1. Try not to turn up drunk. But if you do have a glass of wine (or five) beforehand try to do your make up first … no one wants dodgy eyeliner!

2. Be available .. but not too available. Well what does that even mean? I’m not even sure, but if you’re too keen they’ll leave and if you’re too unavailable and they’ll also leave.

3. Don’t sleep with any of their friends. Yeah I know … apparently that isn’t the right thing to do, who knew?

4. On the first date explain why you wouldn’t make good girlfriend material, if it doesn’t put them off then there’s clearly something wrong with them, so you probably should avoid seeing them again.

5. If they seem really in to you, again there’s probably something wrong with them. Best way to combat this? Flirt with someone else in front of their face.

6. If they put minimum effort in to see you and only speak to you when they want to have sex … then they are most DEFINITELY into you. Never stop trying to talk to them. Triple text if you have to.

7. Go out with them for a nice dinner and accidentally drink so much that you’re sick on them. This is a fool proof tactic in the game of love.

8. Get their number from one of their friends rather than them, guys love knowing how keen you are to get hold of their personal details.

9. Break up with him but then get super jealous when he finds someone that actually wants to be with him. Make sure to stalk his new girlfriends social media for added effect.

10. Above all, always make sure he knows that he is not allowed to show any kind of public display of affection towards you, you wouldn’t want people knowing you’re together. Eurgh.

If you haven’t already gathered, I do not actually want you to follow most of the above advice it’s purely there as a joke highlight some of the crazy shit a lot of us girls do, but only when it’s actually written down do we realise how mental it really sounds.

Happy dating everyone ….

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