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Attachment Theory

Theres this theory, about girls forming these instant attachments to people they sleep with and in part, for some women, I can say that that’s methodically untrue.

However, I’ve come to realise that for me, this most definitely IS true. I guess it’s why I’m so fussy with who I sleep with. I don’t like forming attachments, so therefore I’ll avoid the activity that makes me create them in the first place.

Makes sense I think?

I guess it also explains why I go a bit crazy for someone after I’ve slept with them, all of a sudden I’ll think I’m in love, even if I’ve just had the worst sex of my life, I’ll still be in love at the end of it, who knew that someone could fall in love in the space of 3 minutes! That, combined with the fact I have an inability to see more than one person at a time just leads to disaster!

I know a lot of my friends who will causally date a few people at once until one of them becomes official, but I can’t do that. I get blind sided by connections I build with someone  and to be honest, I don’t have enough of me to give to more than one person at a time (which I think is a good think for the guys who manage to get me into bed).

But you know what, us girls should really learn to stop putting ourselves down for “catching feelings” like ok, you didn’t want to have feelings for him, now all of a sudden after doing ‘the deed’ you feel like you love him. So what? It’s actually a primitive instinct … yes, I’ve looked into it, partly because I love psychology and partly. because I wanted to make sure there was a logical reason behind my crazy levels.

Back in the caveman days, people would have sex when they found their forever person, that person would be the one they made a home with, caught out food with, made a family with etc etc, you get the point …. so instinctively once we have sex with someone due to the chemicals that get released into our brain, we assume that this person is going to be who we’re with for the rest of our lives and not only that, but also help us build a life with them … I think that’s actually pretty cute!

So what if all this beating ourselves up over “getting too attached” is just going against what’s innately built into our heads? Some people say humans aren’t meant to be monogamous, but I disagree, we just need to embrace the way of the penguin and accept that it’s ok not to want someone to go anywhere once they’ve seen us naked …..

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