Chat

Benefits without the friendship

I think Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis had it nailed down. No emotions, no relationship, just sex. It’s easy, you get what you want and best of all there are no expectations what so ever!

Being on a country leaving countdown makes things a bit complicated for me, like there’s no point getting to know someone from scratch, the effort of going through that phase of shit sex while you “get to know what each other like” is just boring.

If I wanted to get into a relationship with someone and really invest in them, then it’s worth going through that phase, but not when you don’t want to get into anything serious because you know you’re leaving the country in a matter of months.

It’s easier to revert to something (or someone should I say) that you feel familiar with. Being in a situation where you both know what makes each other tick, means that sex has the inability to be bad (thank god), you both get what you want and then carry on about your day. Sounds easy.

But it’s only easy if you both want the same thing … absolutely nothing. You can’t have someone as your go to for sex if they’re getting emotionally involved.

When I leave the country in 4 months time, I don’t want someone asking me not to leave. I want to be able to go with no complications and knowing I’ve kept my life as easy as possible, so maybe that means sticking to sleeping with one person for 4 months? Someone that I don’t have to try too hard around? I just want to focus on myself and I guess it would be handy to have a guaranteed shag when I want it from now until I leave.

Friends with benefits is a rubbish term, I mean who actually wants to be friends with someone they have “benefits” with? You just need to know they can get you off, not what their plans are for the week and if they want to go for dinner.

So the less emotional involvement the better. No emotions, no relationship, just sex.

Boy & Girl Friendships

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So here’s the thing, you’re very protective.

It’s flattering though, but he’s not going to appreciate it, having you being protective over his girlfriend because he’s protective as well.
I don’t want us to not be friends anymore, but we are going to have to set some new boundaries. Ones we haven’t had before, because since we have been close I haven’t had a boyfriend, you won’t be used to it. So it’s going to be up to me to set these boundaries in a way that is obvious enough for you to understand them.

When you were with your girlfriend you never really spoke about her and I saw you cheat on her … Twice actually. It shouldn’t have happened and we both know that.
But that’s not the type of mistake I’ll make, because I’m falling for him you see.
I know you’re going to make fun of the whole situation because you haven’t seen me fall for anyone yet … All you’ve seen is how I use people for what I want and then throw them away again.

You’ve created an opinion of me, which is sometimes not the best but yet for the last two years you’ve been head over heels for me (don’t try to pretend like that isn’t true)
I’ll never feel like that for you though, which is why I’m with him and not you.
But I need you in my life and I hope that doesn’t sound selfish. I hope you need me too, I want to think that we’re on this level now where we know each other too well to let each other go.

But we do need to re evaluate the way we talk, I don’t want my new boyfriend feeling uncomfortable about us, I want him to feel reassured and I don’t want him to have a reason to be worried.
So maybe stop the texts asking me for a cuddle late at night should be deemed as no longer being appropriate? I know it’s what you’re like and you’re messing around. But he doesn’t! And I don’t want to ruin things with him.