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Thank You Next

 

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If you can’t imagine introducing him to your family then honestly, what are you wasting your time for?

You might really like him, the sex might be great but when you think of him being around your family you suddenly get a sinking feeling, as if you know that he isn’t what they would want for you. You know your family would want you to be with someone who isn’t afraid to be soppy with you around them, because you know they would be happy to see that someone loves you as much as they do.

So if he’s afraid of physical affection in any way shape or form, is he really the one for you? Don’t get me wrong, PDA is massively off-putting, however, its nice to feel wanted. Even if it’s just in private. If you don’t feel wanted, how can you think that he’s for you?

As someone who is massively family orientated, I will always care about what my family think of my significant other. Which is why I avoid introducing them to anyone until I’m certain about how I feel and I know who they are. No one likes explaining to their parents why someone they were with a week ago at the family BBQ has now done a disappearing act.

So seriously, if you can’t imagine him stood beside you with an affectionate arm around your waist at family events, from BBQ’s to children’s birthdays, from weddings to funerals, then WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR TIME?!

You might not be able to focus your attention on anyone else right now, because although he’s a twat, you’re a little bit lust obsessed. But that’s ok, as long as you can acknowledged he is not someone that you should even imagine a future with.

You might love sleeping next to him, but if he isn’t rolling over to spoon you every now and then, or to put your head on his chest to make sure you’re still laying there with him, then you might as well be sleeping alone, because despite him being there, you feel as though he isn’t.

If you’re revelling in the fact that he’s been giving you undivided attention for the last few months (since his last disappearing act) make sure you remember how you feel when he does go back to his old habits … you know, the ones that you’re mysteriously missed out of. Because as nice as his attention is, someone who will be consistent for you, will be better in the long run.

So enjoy him while you can, because he’s not the one you’re supposed to be with forever.

He’s not the one you want to introduce to your family and he’s not the one who treats you how you expected the love of your life to treat you. But he’s fun and he’s easy to talk to, you have things in common, but not enough to make your parents approve of him.

He might be good looking, but if he isn’t willing to show you any affection in front of his friends or your friends, then you need to find someone better, someone who doesn’t want to keep their hands off you, but who knows you well enough to understand that you’re not a fan of PDA, so all they have to do is tell you they cant wait to get you alone later and that will make your day.

If he isn’t loving you the way you want him to, it’s probably a blessing in disguise.

So when he ghosts on you again, remember he is not the one you want forever. So you might as well let him disappear, as long as you’re not going to let him come back again (for the fourth time).

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The handkerchief approach

So what’s the handkerchief approach…. and I need to point out that this should not be confused with the ‘handkerchief code’, that’s totally different. Google it if you’re interested.

The Handkerchief Approach:

Have you ever heard about how women back in the Victorian era would drop a handkerchief on the floor as they walk past a guy on the street that they like the look of? The idea was that the man would then pick it up and chase after her to return it and which would result in them then being engaged in a conversation. ultimately this worked because the guy felt like he was doing the woman a favour ….

Back then it seems that women weren’t sat around waiting for men to approach them, they were out finding the ones they liked the look of and then making sure they got them by doing something about it. Nowadays us girls sit in bars and wait for the guys we like the look of to approach us, when the harsh reality is, they probably won’t.

Do you know who approaches you in a bar? The idiot …. the idiot you keep moaning about attracting.

The idiot approaches you because he’s had a lot of practice, he doesn’t care about being rejected because out of all of the women he’ll approach that evening, there is bound to be one that won’t reject him. But I’ll tell you a secret …. the idiot is always out with a group of friends and they’re the ones not going round approaching as many women as possible, needless to say they’re the ones you actually want to speak to but luckily for you, the idiot has given you a way in!

Men like to feel needed, so play this to your advantage. The guy you actually want to come over to you while you’re out, most likely won’t because he’s not an idiot. Make it easy for him, give him some eye contact and let him know you’ve seen him, even better …. smile at him! A smile goes a long way.

If you want to attract the guys you actually want, then you need to adapt the handkerchief approach and make it into something you can do in this era. Maybe you’re ordering all your friends drinks at the bar and you can’t carry them all? Well conveniently the hot guy you’ve been checking out all evening is stood right next to you while you’re ordering … you may as well just ask for his help right?