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What We’ve Learnt From Previous Relationships

Looking back at past experiences where love was once involved can sometimes be quite daunting. It can be scary thinking about the past and how it’s lead you to where you are now.

I’ve seen a countless number of my friends go through break ups that have had them crying their eyes out but ultimately ending up feeling stronger at the end of it. I’ve known the person who has walked away and I’ve also known the person who’s been walked away from and seeing it from both sides makes it easier to understand why people do what they do. One thing I have learnt is that no one ever breaks someone’s heart spur of the moment, normally it’s been lots of little events that have driven them to that defining point (either that or one of you has just been a total prick to the other person)

I’ve been in relationships where I feel unsure about whether or not I should stay or leave. I’ve had to ask myself if I should I stay just because I feel like it’s the right thing to do, or if I want to stay because I love them despite the fact I know they’re not treating me how they should.

We’ve all learnt things from our previous relationships and here’s a list of things people have told me they’ve learnt from their ex loves. Some things that may help others and some that they just wanted to get off their chest when it comes to talking about the shit part of a relationship… the end:

1. Even when you don’t want to walk away, you should always listen to your gut instinct … sometimes it’s telling you things your heart doesn’t want to hear.

2. A cheat is always a cheat, it doesn’t matter how much you believe they will change for you. They won’t.

3. Your friends will see their flaws way before you do. Sometimes you should try and see things from their point of view. Being blind sided by someone fucking sucks.

4. If they move on quicker than you after you break up, it isn’t something you should take personally, just shows their true colours.

5. Sometimes people want to be in a relationship so bad they will become an altered version of themselves to please you. But that charade won’t last forever!

6. Getting under someone to get over someone is perfectly acceptable! Never feel ashamed for wanting to experience other people.

7. Be with someone who’s also your best friend. They’ll never be the person who keeps you awake at night worrying about what their doing.

8. Attraction alone won’t keep two people together for very long. A relationship needs to be so much more than that.

9. Without having both trust and communication within a relationship you’ll never be able to grow together and if you can’t grow together, where’s your future?

10. Ultimately love must be ABSOLUTE trust. A relationship without trust is like a phone without signal, all you end up doing is playing games.

11. Trying to change the person you’re with is a pretty big red flag that you’re probably not with the right person in the first place.

12. Hustle together! If you’re both driven towards goals for a shared future, very few things will be able to shake that.

13. A mutual respect for each other as individual people is very important. You don’t need to be glued at the hip 24/7 to show you love each other.

14. Ultimately, if they’re going to cheat. Nothing you can do or say will stop them. You can check their phone if you want but it won’t prevent their actions.

15. Make sure you love yourself before you try and love anyone else. Sounds cheesy, but the more you care about others opinions the more it can effect your relationship.

16. You think you know love, but that heartache you get when they leave. That’s the love, sucks but it’s true.

17. Lust is NOT love. Infatuation is not long term and that fire will burn you at some point.

18. There is no right way to handle a break up. Do not let your friends or family make you feel bad about how you’re processing your own emotions. You wanna shag a dude …. you shag a dude!

19. Feeling lonely when they’re sat right beside you is far worse than actually being alone. If they make you feel like that, you’re better of by yourself.

20. Women talk. If you upset them their whole circle of friends will know. Be prepared to apologise to more than one female when you’re in a relationship.

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What I Wish I Could Tell You

I wish I could tell you everything.

Like how my heart breaks a little when you don’t kiss me every time you see me.

I wish I could tell you that I’m thinking about you when I’m with someone else, someone who doesn’t know me the way that you do.

I wish you knew I was trying to ignore how I feel about you. Part of me, deep down wishes I could tell you that I feel safe with you and very few people in my life make me feel that way.

I wish I could tell you how much I want to hear you say that I’m what you want after all. That I’m not too broken for you to only want sometimes.

I wish I wasn’t as hot headed so I didn’t get angry with you and constantly push you away when you tell me things I don’t want to hear.

I wish you knew that I loved the way you look at me just before you’re about to kiss me. Yeah I do pay attention to those stupid little things! I know it’s hard to believe when its coming from someone as cold as I am. But when I like someone I REALLY like them. You know that.

I wish you’d hug more often and tell me everything is going to be ok. You know how broken I am and I’m hoping if you hold me tight enough, I’ll just stick back together.

But most of all, I wish you knew all of it without me having to tell you.

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Please Stop Falling In Love With Me 


I don’t need you to tell me you love me, everyone else does it for you. But I can confidently say that you will have never had anyone telling you that I’m in love with you.

You’re sat in front of me, you’re not saying anything, just looking at me .. Until eventually you roll your eyes and sigh the words .. ‘You’ I can sit here and pretend I don’t know what you mean, but I do … Because I’ve had this same reaction from guys before, but I know exactly what is means when you say it. It means that you’ve tried to stop yourself having feelings for me, you’ve tried for years. But here we are, four years later and back in the same situation. You’re in love with me but you’re with her and my feelings are still non existent.

But I’m not sure if I’ll ever be in love with you, I’m looking for the same stomach knotting feeling I used to get when ‘he’ kissed me, touched me or even looked at me. I miss being obsessed with someone and I don’t know if I’ll ever feel consumed by my body’s reactions to you like how I felt with him … I want magnetic and that’s not what I have with you.

I miss feeling goosebumps appear on my skin as he touches me, that doesn’t happen with you. You aren’t like a drug to my body, because I still feel in control of my actions. I never felt like that around him.

I know you’re as taken by me as he was, but I can’t reciprocate that to you … So this is me acknowledgeding to myself that I need to block you out for a while, because I don’t want you to keep falling for me when I have my feet firmly in place on the ground.

I want something uncontrollable and magnetic … Like I had with him. But that will never be me and you.

Wait, Who Invented The Friendship Barrier?

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How can anyone completely define when and why the boundary between friends and something more? Is it when you sleep together, or when it is clear to both of you that there is something more between you when you are alone? I think the majority of girls and guys have had an issue with falling for a friend, but when you both have the same group of friends and are always around each other is it really wise to go there?

I live in uni halls at the moment and although I live in a flat with 5 other girls I have made friends with a very lovely group of guys whose friendship means the world to me! I don’t know if it’s just me who feels like this but I always feel that getting relationship advice from your guy friends (from a girl’s point of view) always seems to be more helpful because they are never afraid of telling you what they really think even if it hurts your feelings. At uni I’m in a friendship group of about 8 people and it just so happens that me and one of the guys have slept  together 3 times now (only when I am drunk might I add) but it’s now become obvious that there might be more feelings on his side (oh dear!) having a drunk thing hasn’t affected our friendship in the slightest because we both know where we stand, but since he has now been trying to kiss me when alcohol has not been involved it has made me think maybe this is my fault for getting into bed with him in the first place! I love him to pieces as a friend but I would always worry that those personality traits I laugh at as a friend I would find horribly irritating as a girlfriend.

I have to admit, I am very glad to be going home for summer to be getting away from all the drama I have created this year (unintentionally) hopefully giving some space between me and some of the guys will mean feelings will fade and when I come back for my third year I will have no distractions! (I can only hope)