Chat

This One’s For You …. 

Screenshot from You Belong with Me

I thought writing this down would make it easier … I was definitely wrong.

How am I even going to start this conversation?

I think I like you, but maybe more than that .. I’m pretty sure I genuinely have feelings for you and not the kind I ever thought I would. I never thought I would think about you and want you next to me, I miss you when I’m not with you but I know I can’t be with you and I know you’re trying to create some distance between us … that kind of sucks.

Do you remember that time when you got really drunk and I woke up to texts from you telling me that you loved me? I wonder if I still have those … I hope I do, I wish I was getting them from you now.

Are you as scared about the thought of being with me as I am with you? Because I’m terrified! And I don’t mean that in a horrible way, I mean it as in a way of … If we end up together I genuinely believe you’re going to be my forever person and that’s really scary!

I know I need to tell you how I feel before I end up totally fucking this up, I don’t want all of our ‘first time’ situations to be ruined because of them happening in the wrong way. I want everything between me and you to be memorable for all the right reasons.

You know how I HATE showing my feelings, I’ve never been one of theses openly emotional people, so I want you to know that when I tell you I like you that it has taken a lot of courage for me to do that! But I guess that kind of proves how serious I am

But you’re also one of my best friends and you’ve seen me through a lot of shit and that’s what makes this whole thing even more scary! Because I do not want to lose you, even though our friendship is already totally different, don’t think I don’t notice how you get when I talk about dating other people.

So this is for you, the guy im falling for, the guy I would fall apart without.

Chat

Right Now 


You cannot choose who you love but you can decide on how you love them.  And you know how I think, me and you are meant to be together. You being with anyone else is just a waste of your time. 

We will find our way back to each other, once we have finished growing. 

I would do anything for you, but what if that’s wrong right now. I never thought It was possible to love you as much as I do. 

What we have is a great love, and no matter what we do or how much we fight it keeps pulling us back in because we know it’s not over and I can’t even sit here and pretend I don’t like being pulled in by you and us, we’re magnetic and I know you feel that too, every time we are together. 

All I’ve ever done is love you and no matter what stupid things we fought about I still always loved you and you told me you wouldn’t go anywhere. But you have. And as I’m sure you can see, I’m surviving without you being mine. People aren’t supposed to give up when things get hard but you did. 

I love you, I’m in love with you. And as much as I’ve tried to stop I can’t and I don’t want to. I never want to stop loving you. You are without a doubt the love of my life and I can’t stand the thought of you with anyone else. 

I know you care about me and I know you love me, but you don’t want me enough to keep me to yourself. And I deserve better I’m sorry. 

I hope three months from now we can look back at this together and realise how crazy it all was because we have found our way back to each other after growing separately. I love you with all my heart and you are always supposed to be with me, just not right now. 

Romance In December

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December is easily my favourite month of the year because of how magical it feels, you can feel the buzz for Christmas, the nights are chilly and you can stay in warming up at home.

But this year I’m excited for other reasons besides Christmas.
I’m excited because I have him …. Now bare with me, this isn’t going to be a post that is horrifically cheesy I promise! (Not much anyway)
But I’m so looking forward to going through December with him, the fact that we are planning a holiday, the fact that we get Christmas, we also have his birthday and we get to go into a new year together.

And the whole idea of starting a fresh new year with him makes me so exited and I’m hoping we have many more Decembers to look forward to together, but 2015 will the first whole year we spend together.
I hope that the new year brings amazing things for both of us but I already know that as long as I get to experience everything with him it will all seem so much better.
I’m excited for him, for the new career he is starting in January and the fact that he wants me to be there with him along the way, I feel lucky that he wants me to experience those things with him.

I can’t wait for us to spend three weeks away together, just us.
Some alone time will be amazing! Away from all the crazy demands of being at home such as work and family, we will be able to focus all of our attention on each other and I’m thrilled about that!
But really all I want him to know is that I love him .. And I am seriously looking forward to moving forward in life together, I want him to know that I will always have his back and that any stress he may go through with this new job I will always be here for him.
Cringey blog post finished!