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He’s just a friend

He’s just a friend you keep telling yourself.

You aren’t bothered when he doesn’t immediately respond to your messages, you aren’t bothered when he compliments someone else over you, you aren’t bothered by the fact you don’t know where he is or what he’s doing.

He’s just a friend, so why would you be bothered?

Because he’s your friend your stomach doesn’t flip when he messages you, you’re used to seeing his name on your phone, you message each other every day out of routine, not because your worlds would fall apart without each other.

You two being friends means you don’t get jealous when he’s talking to you about the new girl he’s seeing, you don’t care. As his friend you care about when it’s going wrong with someone who loves him, you don’t want him to get hurt because you’d do anything for him … but that’s how everyone feels about all their friends right? You’d go to the ends of the earth for them and back again, if it meant they wouldn’t have to get hurt by someone.

As his friend, you know where you stand. There are no crossed boundaries or blurred lines. You stand on one side and he firmly stands on the other. Everything is just easy and uncomplicated like that.

Because you’re friends, you know he loves you and you know that anyone you date will see that too but remain undeterred, it won’t bother them because they’ll see that your friendship is straight forward.

The two of you being so close means that you can run to him when the other guys you trust hurt you. You know that when he wraps his arms around you and holds you that there’s nothing in it, because the two of you are just friends.

You don’t wish that he was the one you’d been with in the first place, because you know that he would never hurt you the way some of the others have done, because you’d never cross a line like that. Complicating things is messy and no one likes messy.

Except …..

None of that is true.

And trust me, no one will get it.

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Resting Bitch Face

My resting bitch face is far more a reflection on you than it is on me.

If you think I look like I have an attitude problem, it’s because you’ve given me one. You see I have this slight problem, where I seem to have an ability to control the words that come out my mouth, but not the expression on my face.

This has its pros and cons … firstly, people will never have to question how I feel about them or whatever it is that they’re talking to me about, which is a huge pro, especially as I’m not the best person with all that emotion kind of stuff, so if I like someone, my eyes light up, I can’t stop smiling and overall I genuinely look engaged in everything they’re saying to me.

A massive con normally surfaces itself on first dates, if I find someone intolerable then my face will normally show just that, even when the words coming out of my mouth are very complementary. I have a real ability to look at someone as if they’re stupid when I don’t appreciate their presence.

People paint resting bitch face as a bad thing, as if it automatically means you have an attitude problem. But I have no problem smiling at the people I genuinely like.

And for the people I don’t like, well … I couldn’t really care less what you think. But at least my face has told you that I don’t like you, so now we can both go about our days with no confusion.

P.S did you also know that resting bitch face is a sign of intelligence, so when I look at you as if you’re stupid, it’s probably because compared to me you are.

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You’ll get pushed away

There’s something built into me, almost like a reflex, something I can’t control. I’ll push you away. when you try and get too close I will automatically push you away, it’s just what I do.

When you think you’ve got me figured out, I’ll do something weird and it will be because I don’t want you to know me.

Your “I know what you’re really like” messages stir something up inside me that make me want to change my name and move to a different country, because I don’t want you to know what I’m really like. I actually don’t think anyone deserves to know.

So this is me pre warning you, the closer you get to me, the harder I’ll push back on you. The more intense my mood swings will be. The closer you try to get to me, the less I’ll want you.

I don’t want you to “know the real me” because the real me is turbulent, I’m constantly looking for something better and ultimately, I’ll want to replace you and once you find that out, you should want to walk away.

I get easily bored of people who act as if they know me. You don’t. I’ll carefully choose small pieces of information to divulge to you so you feel like I’m opening up, but I’m not. I’m just giving you enough to make you want to stick around for the amount of time I actually want to keep you.

Just when you feel like you’ve got me sussed, I’ll push you away. Just like I do with all the others and I’m not even sorry.

So come prepared and make sure you’re wearing adequate padding for when you hit the floor after I’ve given you a shove.

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Everyone’s a trial

Technically, everyone’s a trial until you find “the one” but how can you know you’ve found the one you want forever unless you’ve taken out a few 30 day free trials at some point?

I’m happy treating people I date in a “practice makes perfect” kind of attitude until I find someone I have a genuine connection with and to be honest, I’m in no real rush to do that, it seems to me that it tends to happen when you’re looking for it least anyway.

All the “trials” will be fun, they will pass the time and they will make sure I remain on my “a game” …. I wouldn’t want to suddenly be overcome with nerves when I bump into the person I actually want and have an interest in.

You know all those dates you’ve had that make you cringe thinking about because they were so bad, or the person turned out to be the total opposite of what you actually want in someone? They were not a waste of time, they were practice runs.

Those people you’ve wasted months at a time over, again, not a waste. It might feel like it but honestly they’re all helping you, your trial runs help you become more confident and more certain of yourself.

Treat every unsuccessful love as a trial, because ultimately that’s what they are. It won’t go wrong with the person you’re actually supposed to be with.

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The ‘ick’

Now I’ve got the ‘ick’ it isn’t going to go away.

I suddenly realised about 4 minutes into having sex with you that I really wasn’t into it, I felt like I’d made a mistake and I hadn’t felt like that before, at least not with you anyway.

You kissed me and I felt absolutely nothing, for once I didn’t want to rip your clothes off, normally I’d be dying to feel your body on me as soon as you touched me. But it was different this time.

But I done it anyway … I acted as if you kissing my neck and pulling my hair was turning me on, but i wasn’t sure it was and yet I still let it carry on, probably because I wanted to find out where my head was at.

I think I realised as soon as you kissed me that I didn’t like the way you tasted anymore, I didn’t want to run my nails across your back and through your hair. I realised I didn’t want you, I wanted him.

I this what using someone feels like? If it is, then it’s awful. How guys can do it with no second thought whatsoever I really don’t know.

Right then and there you were literally just a body to me, for that brief 5 minutes I didn’t even think of you as someone I’d known for years, I was looking at you as if I’d never have to see you again and that isn’t how I want to see my best friend.

Our movements were awkward and disjointed, I wonder if you felt what I felt. Is that why it was so bad? The connection we normally had just seemed to have disappeared.

Maybe you knew I wasn’t responding the way that I normally do.

Maybe it’s because a week ago you had me convincing your girlfriend you’re not cheating on her and now here we are again naked in your bed, but it’s not cheating right? No of course it isn’t.

Well you know what, now I’ve been put off there won’t be another time. Maybe now I feel like you’ve lost the respect you had for me this isn’t what I want.

Once us women get the ‘ick’ it doesn’t go away. It’s something that happens suddenly and sometimes for no reason at all, but once our head switches into ‘ick’ mode there’s no saving that (sorry guys)

Someone who we’ve been craving for weeks can suddenly seem like the most off putting outcome and we can’t do anything to change it.

The sexual chemistry has gone … but I’m talking like 1000 miles down the road kind of gone.

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The second time around

Falling for you the second time around is going to hurt even more.

It’s ok though, I’ve already prepared myself for it. So I feel like I’m ready to go through it all again. The first time I caught feelings for you was bad enough, but now I’ve managed to let myself fall back into bad habits.

I’m happy to let you be my latest bad habit, I kind of like that I know you’re giving me some unstable stability (yeah I know how contradicting that is) but talking to you keeps me focused, I feel like I know what I’m doing again. But I also know that you’re not going to be a permanent fixture.

Having you again means I don’t want to date. I feel physically put off when I’m having sex with other people and I guess that’s quite a big sign that my feelings for you are slowly creeping back again (at least I can see it happening this time)

The first time I started getting feelings for you it kind of caught me off guard, I didn’t expect to like someone the way I liked you. I was in a weird head space where getting attached to men made me feel physically sick.

We had sex after knowing each other for 24hrs and I was so drunk it all seems like a massive blur …. it seems quite a few of my relationships start this way (maybe I should address that) I didn’t want anything from you at that point, I enjoyed getting to know you and the sex was good but I didn’t want anything else. Then all of a sudden … that changed and I wanted everything from you.

So I’m prepared to let myself open up to you again, I won’t mind if it hurts. As soon as I see you I know I’m going to fall into your arms and everything you made me second guess about myself will fade away … and yeah, that’s fucked up.

Just know that I don’t need you, I just want you. And for me to want someone, that’s a big deal.

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22 Of The Sexiest Things Men Can say (according to women)

These may seem like such little things to you guys, but when we hear them …. they actually make us melt.

1. “Come here”

2. “Good girl” (With a certain look in his eye)

3. Anything he asks to do where my response can be “make me” – changes the tone of any conversation almost immediately

4. “I love the way you taste”

5. “I can tell you want me”

6. Using your actual name when they talk to you – there’s something so simple and so sexy about that

7. “Look at me” – in any kind of sexual situation

8. “I’ve been thinking about you all day”

9. “I can’t control myself around you” – knowing this made me feel like I had a lot of power

10. “Open your mouth” – not always in an inappropriate situation, but it sure changes the tone

11. “You’re mine, don’t forget that”

12. “Nobody understands your body like I do”

13. “I just want to feel you” – we both knew what that meant.

14. “Have you been good or bad” – either way, what happened after this was always fun

15. “Is there something wrong” (after he’d spent half an hour trying to turn me on in public)

16. “I want to be inside you”

17. “Shhhh” – when I’ve been making too much noise in bed.

18. “I need to see you” – it’s the word “need” that makes this so sexy

19. “Thinking about you is keeping me awake” – knowing he was in bed and turned on thinking about me made me want him like crazy

20. “Don’t cum” – That one ask made it 10x harder!

21. “You’re asking for trouble”

22. “I want you to know how beautiful you are”